These fundamental guardrails will govern every aspect of your group. They are for everyone, not just the leader. And every man who hears these rules will be appreciative. You’ll get no resistance. They are:

Talk

The valuable thing you bring to the group is you. Your history, unique perspective, and willingness to be transparent as you encounter what’s discussed at Firepit will benefit everyone. So talk…everyone is interested in what you have to say. Plus, it’s not fair to sit back and listen while others share about their lives…put some skin in the game.

Don’t teach

It’s unhelpful and presumptuous. We’re all pretty smart so if one of us is having difficulty working through something, that means there’s not an obvious or easy fix. Instead, listen and ask questions. If someone asks your advice it’s fine to offer ideas but present them as ideas only…be humble in your delivery.

Don’t talk about what others say at Firepit

This is obvious but worth saying. Anyone can say anything they want and be confident it never goes further than the guys who were there to hear it.

Occasionally, someone will ask whether they can talk about things they learn at Firepit with other people. If we’re talking about “things I learned about God,” or “a new perspective I learned and am applying to my own life,” then yes…there’s no issue. However, most guys like the secret society feel about the group and tend to speak very little about it.