There are several ways to tell your story.  But we’re going to do it in a very specific way.  We’re going to use turning points.  Turning points have four elements.  There is an event, a realization, a decision, and an action.  Here’s a little more on each:

1. Events are the part of your story that, for the most part, you didn’t control.  They are usually negative, but not always – your parents get divorced; a door opens to a new opportunity; you get dumped; someone embarrasses you.  Or maybe it was a collection of smaller events – years of arguing, then a single disagreement over who does the dishes one night – the straw that broke the camel’s back.  Whatever it was, some event triggered you.
2. Realizations pop into our head after the event.  They fundamentally replace old ideas with new ones.  For example, If you were in a relationship, you might think, “This just isn’t going to work anymore.”  A realization is usually just a single thought that sticks with you.
3. Decisions are our reaction.  Decisions are often times a defense mechanism to get away from the pain of the event.  For example, “I will never be embarrassed like that again.”  You can find your decisions by finishing this sentence, “And so I thought __________.”
4. Actions are the new path you take.  This is the part other people see.  Maybe you doubled down and worked harder, maybe you took more risks, maybe you looked for ways to constantly stay on the road.

By charting out your events, realizations, decisions, and actions, you will build a map of your story…not just where you were and what you did, but why.  Your resume or geographical history of where you lived should only be referenced to provide setting.  Mention your parents or your first car but keep the focus on these four elements.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Write it down.  You cannot just come up with it on the fly…this will take some time and you should bring notes for yourself.  If you don’t, you’ll lose your place when someone asks a question.
2. Practice it.  When you practice telling your story you will be hit with details that you had forgotten about. Those details will help you tell a better story, so write them down.
3. Don’t cram everything in.  If your fascination with grilling doesn’t play into the story, skip it.  There’s plenty of time for those stories later.
4. Be bold.  Remember no one is going to talk about this outside of Firepit or judge your decision.
5. Your story should bring you to today.  For bonus points, mention what events you see on the horizon of your life right now.

As you tell your story, guys will ask questions and react.  You’ll have the entire time to yourself when it’s your turn to go.  And whoever’s reading this, goes first.

More FAQs if needed (only go through these if guys ask):

Q: What if someone has to miss a Firepit?

A: Don’t let a guy tell his story unless everyone is there. Just do another discussion guide and wait until everyone is together again.

Q: Do we pick who goes in which order up front?

A: The leader/facilitator goes first, the rest go in whatever order they want. Choose the order up front or just choose the next person meeting by meeting.