Happiness
Leaders Prep Section
Watch this video, read these notes, and send the pre-written email (below) to your group 2-3 days before you meet.
Notes
According to a recent study, “lack of commitment” was chosen as people’s top reason for divorce (73%). Infidelity was a separate option for responders to select, so lack of commitment doesn’t mean infidelity, it simply means the couple was simply no longer committed to the same things.
Group Guide Starts Here
Introduction
Historically, marriages were necessary for so many reasons – family alliances, controlling land, and extending labor by having kids; just to name a few. Love was not a primary driver of marriage until just a couple hundred years ago. And this is worth thinking about for a moment. Love was not the biggest reason people got married; it was something they hoped they found along the way. Compare that to now – according to a 2019 Pew research study, 90% of people say the number one reason they married was love.
Looking back at your own life, why did you really get married? For example, was it the right timing, did you want kids…something else?
If your son or daughter said they wanted to get married and all they needed was love, how would you react?
There are two factors to consider – luxuries actually – which have appeared relatively recent in the history of mankind. First, we are wealthy enough as a society to marry for love and stay married for happiness. Second, we are wealthy enough to find happiness in so many other things, making happiness an unreliable ally to bet life’s big decisions on.
Why would an unmarried man want a wife in today’s world?
Do you believe your marriage (or future marriage) would be stronger if you had a bond that had nothing to do with happiness? For example, if you worked together in business or some social justice mission?
What would be the upsides and downsides of working closely with your wife?